When a couple is in love and together, they share their lives with each other.  They usually have sex as part of that  They do it to make babies sometimes (if one of them is male and the other female), but mostly they do it because it feels so fine and really damn good. And they find it a lot more enjoyable that masturbating. So it is a couple thing.

So this brings me to my point:  if you’re in a relationship, shouldn’t you be sharing your genitals and genital urges with your partner?  If you feel like you need an orgasm, shouldn’t you tell your partner?  Of course you should.  This doesn’t mean that you have the right to put your penis in her vagina or mouth, or the right to have a penis in your vagina or a tongue on your clit (make up your own version of this if you’re gay please), but, yes, I think you do have the right to tell your partner, and have your partner be with you, and help you orgasm.  You’re not entitled to penetration, but you’re entitled to the genital equivalent of a hug.  Something beyond a handshake.

Why?  Because otherwise you’re hiding yourself from your partner.  You share your thoughts and feelings, and you’re supposed to share your body too.

Practically, it means that if you feel the urge, your partner may hold you while you masturbate yourself (less happy), or your partner may masturbate you (happier).   But you should not do this alone.  At the very least, you should tell your partner.  Who is obligated to say “I’ll be with your in a minute”, or “go ahead”.  If you’re told to go ahead on your own, you need to talk about the joint ownership you have over your genitals, your bodies and your lives.

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